To Not Let Go
by LeidyMay
Summary: If we ever met again in our next lives, I promise, I'll be stronger. I promise, I won't ever let you go... Warning: contains boyxboy/shounen-ai. uke!Karma, dramatic!Karma. AU. Disclaimer: nothing is mine :D


Hi guys! AsanoxKarma pairing because I love that pairing so much. But, I must say that this story is not entirely mine. There was a Facebook page, it's more like a confession page with so many stories. There was one story that made me really cry. I must tell that this is based on a true story. I couldn't give credit to the owner because he was using an alias ( i also couldn't remember the alias he used because I've read it a long time ago already. _Kuya_ , I really like _po_ your love story, and I really wish you find your happiness. If you're ever reading this, this is my tribute to you. Sorry for not crediting you properly. I'm admitting that this story is not mine, it's just like I translated it in English and put some 'spice to it'

I changed some subject because man, while _Kuya's_ story happened in our country, this happened in Japan, but the events are still the same.

Disclaimer: nothing is mine. :D

POV is like a letter, so I cannot tell if it's first person or second  
So, here goes.  
PS: I think I might've omitted some scenes and added some too because I've read it (the entry) long time ago. SliceOfLife!AU, semi-canon. AU bcuz no assassination & no Korosensei involved

* * *

 **Karma's POV**  
I know we've known each other for a long time. I never thought that you would be my bestfriend. It all started when we were playing at the local park. I was eating my newly-bought ice cream I saw you sitting by yourself on the seesaw. I thought you looked dumb. Well, I've always thought all kids looked dumb.

Then, there were two fatty boys who decided to bully you. They pushed you off the seesaw and you fell. I snickered at you. You looked dumber than before. You were shorter than them and very frail-looking. But you had the courage to land a kick on one of the fatty boys' stomach. I didn't think you'd have the guts to fight them. I knew it because you run towards me. What surprised me is that you grabbed my ice cream and smeared it on the other fatty boy's forehead.

Well I was raged, it was my ice cream, man! Do you even know how much it cost me?

IT WAS A FRIGGIN' TWENTY YEN, MAN!

So I decided to punch you as well. The Fatty Boys came over and punched you too. We were punching each other and we look like idiots if other people see us. I didn't care who I punch, may it be you or the fatty boys. I just wanted to vent out my anger.

It was a newly-bought ice cream for twenty yen!

Our ramble ended and the fatty boys left the park. You sat beside me and said, "Hey, I'm sorry. Are you okay? Can you walk me back to my home?"

I looked at you. You orange hair looked to pretty in the glowing sunset, and you violet eyes were pretty as well. I walked you back to your house and your mom was waiting at the entrance. She gave me a hundred yen because I told her about my spoiled ice cream. Of course an ice cream was such a big deal to me, a third grader.

That was the start of our friendship, because of your mom's one hundred yen. Lol joke.

Let's skip to the time when we were in middle school. We both enrolled in your father's school. The competition was tough. You were always put in Class A, and I was always put in B, C or D. I knew you were smarter than me. Of course, your father had his expectations for you. So I studied hard, so that we can become classmates in our third year.

My grades were enough for me to be included in class A, but that one shit happened and I fell to Class E. We were not just in different classes. We were not just in different buildings. We were in different terrains.

But that was okay. Our rivalry strengthened. You came in first place while I came in second. Your father was irked about this. During those times, we were no longer best friends. Inside school, or during sports meet, we would always be rivals. But what strengthens me is that whenever I go home, I always receive a message from someone saying, "Hey, dude. Good day today. I had fun. How about you?"

I would always smile after seeing this message, because it's from you. Then, we would text each other until midnight. That was the only time we could spend time talking to each other. I really wanted to hear your voice and see your violet eyes.

Time skip to our summer vacation in our third year highschool. I was lucky enough to be in the same class as you, by the way.

You just got back from Singapore that time, and you said you fiancée was very beautiful. I wanted to see her as well because man, if you say she's beautiful, then she really was. I remember you saying in our first year high school that your arranged marriage was purely out of business purposes. But when you saw her, you knew right away that she's the one.

I couldn't be even happier for you, man.

We enrolled in the same university when we were in college because we both had our scholarships there. But sadly, we had to take different courses. You want to be a professional professor, just like your father, and I want to be a bureaucrat. There we both excelled in our studies. We were lucky enough that our buildings were just beside each other, so we eat lunch together and go home together.

We may be busy, but we still stay in contact.

On our third year college, you asked if we could go somewhere. I was surprised at first but I just said, "Yeah sure, whatever, man". You told me to dress my best. I was confused really. Usually when we go out, a simple tee and walking shorts were enough. This time, we were both dressed in a shirt and jeans.

I didn't know we were going to the amusement park. From our fare to our entrance fee, you're the one who paid for it. Then we ate at this restaurant (it's not that fancy but it's still a restaurant), you paid for it as well. Then we went to get some drinks at some bar, but we didn't drink much, though. You paid for it again.

I was okay with it, because I got no money that time. Bro, I really didn't expect you to bring me to such places so I'm gonna get back at you someday. Sorry I'm not a rich kid.

Before going home, we sat by the riverbank and admired the steady flowing of water, the moonlight being reflected on its surface. Yes, dude, moonlight. We were having fun all day. And if I'm not mistaken, that was the best time I've ever had with you.

"Hey, I wanna show you something," you suddenly said as you reached out from your pocket. I was expecting it was another fake cockroach that you used to prank me with when we were young. You knew I was afraid of it, you sick bastard. But I was surprised when you showed me a silver ring.

"You have good taste, man. I'm sure your fiancée will like it," I smiled at you and patted you shoulder. But what surprised me more was when you slipped the ring into my finger and smiled at me. I just looked at you, and you gentle violet eyes. They seem to sparkle under the moonlight.

Then you put your hand behind my head and pulled me close to you.

We kissed.

I was frozen at my spot. I knew what you were doing to me. I knew you were kissing me. I knew it was wrong, for two grown college boys to kiss like this. But what I didn't knew was the reason why I returned that kiss. I followed your movements. Our kiss was long, passionate. It was not out of lust.

No words were exchange between the two of us.

We both knew we needed this kiss; knew that every touch of your fingers to my skin, and mine to yours has a meaning.  
We parted as we were both out of breath. I looked into your eyes and you looked into mine. You held my hand tighter. I embraced you, and you embraced me back. We were afraid to let go of each other. The look in your eyes pained me. It was somewhat a feel that even I cannot fathom. I knew you well. I knew you very fucking well.  
But I didn't know what those eyes meant.

Time skip again, we had already graduated college.

I remember you would marry once you graduate. You asked if I could be your best man. We were Christians, and like any other Christian wedding, you had your wedding in a church. You got me as your best man. I saw you waiting at the altar. Dude, you looked fucking handsome in a white suit. Then, the bride started walking down the aisle. Even if the veil covers her face, I could tell that she was indeed, very beautiful.

You two looked so good together, it was like a match made in heaven.

"You may now kiss the bride," the priest said.

You lifted her veil and closed her eyes. But before you kiss her, you look at me. Those eyes were the kind of eyes you had the night we kissed. This time, there were tears brimming up in you violet eyes. Those weren't tears of joy. Those were tears of regrets. Pain. What ifs.

I wish I could fight for you. I wish I could run right there and stop the marriage. But what are we? We were only two people against fifty. So I decided.

Of course I knew what that meant. You were asking permission from me, right? Like I said, I knew you very fucking well. From your biography to the last time you brushed your teeth. I nod at you and you kissed her.  
Cheers of celebration filled the whole church congratulating you newlyweds.

So that was what our kiss meant. We both had not yet had our first kisses. I remember you telling me that you want your first kiss be with someone you really love. It must be on your wedding day, or somewhere romantic. That's why you brought me to that riverbank that night. This ring you gave me was your heart.

But society's such a bitch. Everyone will judge you every time you move. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted for 'us' to be happy. But our happiness can make us hurt. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough.

So I had to let go.

I didn't go the reception after that. I went straight home. I hate myself for letting you go. You might not know it, but that night while others celebrated your marriage, I cried.

There was a saying, "may the best man wins," but this time "the best man… LOST" (credits to owner of this story)  
 **End POV**

 **Third person POV**

Karma, now a full-fledged politician, was taking his rare day off. He was in his casual tee and jeans, and he looked like how he was eight years ago. He looked so young, so fresh. Even the girls in their teens would stop and follow him with their eyes. Man, those shades were just so for him.

Eight years. He and Gakushuu hadn't talk for eight years. It happened that Gakushuu had migrated to Singapore with his wife, and there he established a Kunugigaoka branch in just a short period of time. Of course, Karma knew this not because he was keeping in touch with the other, he knew this because it was on the news.

As he was walking, he bumped onto something, or rather someone. Shit, he was thinking about 'him' again.  
"Ah, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Feels like déjà vu.

Karma looked at the person and was surprised to see the same pair of violet eyes he had last seen eight years ago.

 _'This time, I'm not letting you go...'_

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So, that's it!  
Review if you like. Constructive criticisms are accepted as well.  
Kuya – a term used in our language to address an older brother or older male person. Counterpart is Onii/nii-chan/san/sama in Japanese. Same usage.  
PS: i tried to browse the entry again but I couldn't find it sorry. I hope I'm not plagiarizing or anything :D

PPS: I just realized there are many 'three's and third's O.o

PPPS: i think Uke!Karma is kawaii. I also think he's a bit OOC...


End file.
